Daughter deliberately "forgets" 73-year old dad's birthday, he spends it alone after mocking her for being "too sensitive" when he can't even name the year she was born: "You reap what you sow"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 15, 2025 5:00 PM EST

My birthday is coming up soon, and because I've really cut down on a lot of my social media usage, I know that I won't be receiving as many birthday greetings as I might have in years past. Back in high school when I actually had a Facebook page, I looked forward to seeing my digital wall covered in messages from people on my friends list. In college, I might have expected my friends to post stories tagging me in embarrassing pictures. These types of gestures are not so important to me now, and I really don't expect people outside of my immediate social circle to remember the exact day that I was born. However, I would be a little let down if my own parents forgot to give me a call.

In our story today, a 73-year-old man is left to fend for himself on his special day. Sad, right? Well, he might have deserved it. After making it abundantly clear that birthdays are not important to him after years of forgetting the dates of his own children, why would he expect to be celebrated by them? Scroll down for the full story. 

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  • 01

    AITA for deliberately pretending to forget my Dad's birthday & leaving him to spend it alone

    "He made it abundantly clear birthdays were not important"
    via The Olga Niekrasova Collection
  • 02
    My (44F) Dad (73M) has never remembered my birthday. It was slightly covered up when I was a child, because my Mum always remembered. But a couple of times when she wasn't around, it fell to
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 03
    him and he totally failed. So, for example, I got nothing on my 18th birthday because my Mum was away for three months. My sister (46F) had a party with friends, a new dress and lovely gifts when she turned 18.
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 04
    Every year it's the same. My two siblings (I also have a much younger brother (33M)) aren't great at this kind of thing, but I always remind them it's Dad's birthday so they can send him a card and call. Since my Mum did a decade ago, I usually take him out to dinner and give him a gift so he's not alone. A
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10467690240
    via Prostock-images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    couple of times I've thrown him a surprise party, and for his 70th I threw a big event where his extended family flew in. I always point out to him when he has forgotten mine; I've told him I find it very hurtful. He just shakes it off and says it isn't important, even though I just told him it was important to me. And then he forgets it again. Every year.
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 07
    This year at Christmas he was talking about something relevant, so I took the opportunity to tell him that he needs to make the effort. Then I asked him when I was born. He couldn't even come up
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 08
    with the year. He mocked me for being sensitive - and inside I just let it all go. He has a phenomenal memory - it's ludicrous that he won't do this for me. I don't even want a gift, though I won't lie it would be nice, just a happy birthday call or a card.
    via u/confusedFriendlslt

  • This is the worst part, in my opinion. Mocking your children in any context is never okay. It might have been a defensive response to getting rightfully called out.

  • 09
    Well, his 73rd birthday just rolled round. I didn't remind my siblings about it so they both forgot. He rang me the day before; I knew why but I chatted about random things and then said I had to run and
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 10
    quickly ended the call. On his birthday, I turned off my phone and went out. He rang me the next day and said that no one remembered his birthday, not even a card or a phone call, and he spent it alone. I guarantee that's a first.
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 11
    I told him he had made it abundantly clear that birthdays were not important and that he was reaping what he'd sowed. He grumpily agreed with me, but he's still mad. I'm sorry his feeling got hurt,
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 12
    because I do love him, but I think this is the way it's going to be from now on. (Unless he steps up and gets me flowers, a kitten and some Turkish delight for my 45th, in which case we're all good.)
    via u/confusedFriendlslt

  • Given all of the effort she has put into his birthdays in the past, flowers, a kitten, and candy should absolutely be the bare minimum!

  • 13
    E
    via South_agency

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    (Just FYI: I don't neglect him. I order his groceries every week and bring him round to dinner every Monday. And this is a blind spot for him. He's honestly a nice man, and can be very generous when it occurs to him.)
    via u/confusedFriendlslt
  • 15
    -KristalG- You waited way too long for teaching that lesson... NTA
    via u/-KristalG -
  • 16
    Its_Sophiee Totally agree! It's a shame it took this long, but the lesson was long overdue. Sometimes people need a taste of their own behavior to realize how it feels. Definitely NTA, and hopefully, this sparks some change for future birthdays (yours included)!
    via u/Its_Sophiee
  • 17
    Beth21286 I think one more lesson is due to make it properly sink in. He hasn't actually apologised yet as far as I can see.
    via u/Beth21286
  • 18
    SteampunkHarley Agreed. My father forgot my birthday once. When I didn't wish him a happy father's day a few weeks later nor a happy birthday to him a month after mine, he figured it out real quick.
    via u/SteampunkHarley
  • 19
    Fast_Basket1087 NTA. Sounds like he got what he deserved for once
    via u/Fast_Basket1087
  • 20
    Usual-Canary-7764 The man said plainly birthdays and remembering them was not important and OP was being sensitive. OP just lived by his own words and principles. Well done OP. Maintain this till he gets his act together for your birthday. NTA
    via u/Usual-Canary-7764
  • 21
    CozyCornerClair NTA. Your dad has ignored your feelings for years & never made an effort on your birthday even when you've tried you stopped reminding him & now he's facing the consequences... It's not petty it's a wake- up call for him.
    via u/CozyCornerClair
  • 22
    ItWorkedInMyHead So he's reached the find out portion of the f around program. The real question is whether he'll learn anything from this. No, you're NTA. And I hope you get that kitten.
    via u/ItWorkedInMyHead
  • 23
    GlassButterfly1858 Not enough of an a hole if you ask me. I would've mocked him the way he mocked you for caring about something so stupid and unimportant as a birthday.
    via u/GlassButterfly1858
  • 24
    Dull_Basket8318 And she should have used the same words back to him and say that he ignores yours so why should you make an effort if its so "unimportant".
    via u/Dull_Basket8318
  • 25
    He is a grown child. She takes care of his groceries and everything. I guess another old school generation where the woman did all the home needs and when she did, he had his daughter continue in his place.
    via u/Dull_Basket8318
  • 26
    ssilverlining0 NTA. He's a grown dude, he can remember his own bday. If he wants to be celebrated, he should put in the effort to reach out to his kids.
    via u/ssilverlining0
  • 27
    EntertainmentDry3790 NTA, he's pretty much told you that your birthday isn't important but his is. No thank you. And stop reminding your siblings as well
    via u/EntertainmentDry3790

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